The book ‘The Courage To Be Disliked’ book is based on Adler’s philosophy, which has a very different but helpful approach to look at life. The Courage To Be Disliked summary covers 3 key points from the book.
The book is a conversation between a philosopher and a young person – youth (who is asking questions about life to a philosopher). Every question asked by a youth and its answer given by a philosopher can make you think and question your own belief system. So the book is a tough nut to crack. And you will learn great life lessons that will help you solve many of your life problems.
Here, goes 3 essential lessons from the book ‘The Courage To Be Disliked’ by ICHIRO KISHIMI.
Video Version Of The Courage To Be Disliked Summary
Lesson 1: There Is No Trauma In Life
As a normal human tendency, we always stop, cry, and blame others for our worst situation. Then we consider ourselves as in trauma. But this book says that trauma is just our state of mind, that we create because we choose to victimize ourselves.
According to Adler, the past and the future do not exist, and so does the trauma of the past experience. So if you blame someone else for your current miserable situation, then you are becoming the victim of the PAST situation. This will not allow you to find a solution to your problem. Instead of being a victim of the past problem, take action in the present to make things better. It is a goal-oriented approach.
Life is always HERE and NOW in this PRESENT MOMENT, and moving further. Therefore, the present moment is the deciding moment. And based on decisions taken in the present moment, you can lead your life in the direction you want to take it. Therefore, instead of becoming a victim, be a game changer.
Book Summary can never be a replacement for reading a book. If you are a sensitive person and struggle a lot in any kind of relationship, then grab this book and change your game. Here is the book link. Go get your copy as soon as possible THE COURAGE TO BE DISLIKED.
Lesson 2: All Problems Are Interpersonal Relationship Problems
In The Courage To Be Disliked, the philosopher says, problems are there in life because we have interpersonal relationships. If there was no one on this planet Earth except YOU, then there would be no problem at all. Think of it. Problems arise because we have expectations from others, and we want recognition from others.
According to Adler, there would be no problems in this world if there were no interpersonal relationships. However, if we are on this earth, then we have interpersonal relationships with our parents, relatives, and friends, and we can not escape it.
However, we can solve most of the problems by setting ZERO EXPECTATIONS from our relationships. Stop expecting people to understand you and your situation. Stop seeking recognition from others. ZERO EXPECTATIONS from others can make you help yourself better and set you free.
Book Summary can never be a replacement for reading a book. If you are a sensitive person and struggle a lot in any kind of relationship, then grab this game-changer book. Here is the book link. Go get your copy now. THE COURAGE TO BE DISLIKED.
Lesson 3: Have A Separation Of Tasks
The courage to be disliked says what other people think of you is not your task. Do not interfere with others’ tasks by thinking about ‘what they think of you’ or ‘what will they say about you’. This way, you feel trapped as you asking for their validation.
Similarly, you can only guide others to do something. They have the right to take a decision based on what they think is correct. You don’t have to interfere in others’ tasks by forcing them to take the decision that is according to you correct. By doing this, you will only create problems in your relationship.
Like, parents can guide their kids about what is good for them as a career option. Beyond that, there is no role for parents to interfere in kids’ decisions. However, parents, most of the time, break that limit and force their kids to do certain things against their wishes. This causes tension in their relationship and the child may make regrettable decisions influenced by their parents.
Parents can have a separation of their tasks by guiding their kids about what is good according to them and letting kids decide on their own what is good for them. Later, if kids come back for further guidance, then parents can guide them.
If you interfere with others’ tasks then, problems will start. Learn to separate the task by asking questions like ‘Who will get benefit from doing this task?’
A book summary is never a replacement for reading a book. This book is a fabulous read, and I highly recommend reading it. Grab your copy of the book from the link now.
I have created the courage to be disliked summary, to inspire you to read the book. You will definitely find this book a life changer. Don’t forget to subscribe to this blog to get such informative posts straight into your inbox.