Are you sensitive by nature and take others’ words very seriously? Do you also overthink a lot? Do you always feel guilty for your anger? Do you assume a lot instead of asking questions? Do you get hurt when people won’t behave with you the way you want them to or say bad things to you? If the answer to any of the above questions is true for you, then you need to keep reading these posts. This book ‘The Four Agreements’ have solutions to all the above problem. These four agreements will change your life forever for good. So without further delay, let’s get started with the book summary of the book ”The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book)” by Don Miguel Ruiz, Janet Mills
What Is An Agreement?
An agreement is when more than one people mutually come to some understanding and agree upon its meaning.
What you are reading right now, we called it a PAGE, and we both understand when anyone says the word PAGE. Since there is one command meaning associated with the word PAGE and we both know the same meaning of it.
Same way when someone says good words to you you feel good, since you & the person who is telling you those words, both know the meaning of those words and understand it very well.
So these are called agreements.
In the book, The Four Agreements authors suggest making four agreements with yourself to live a life of freedom.
Now, let’s see what are the four agreements.
What Are The Four Agreements?
First Agreement: Be Impeccable With Your Words
Impeccable means without any sin. When we say any bad things (even to ourselves) it becomes sinful things. Slowly we start believing those sinful words and making them our reality. We often say to ourselves ‘We are not worthy enough’, and slowly it becomes our reality since we start believing what we say to ourselves or what others say to us.
Rather, we should make this power work in our favor by saying good words to ourselves and others too and making good things our reality. Tell yourselves ‘how wonderful and worthy you are’.
Second Agreement: Don’t Take Anything Personally
We take others’ words too personally. When someone says ‘You are not good enough’, we take those words personally and we immediately become upset. We forget that when someone says something to us it is totally based on their mood at that time, their perception, and their circumstances. If they are happy they will say good words ‘You are awesome’, and when they are upset they might say ‘You are useless’. So it totally on their mood, perception, and circumstance.
As the second agreement says, don’t take anything personally, neither their praise nor their criticism. When you don’t take anything personally, you will stop giving power to the outside world to control you.
Third Agreement: Never Make Any Assumption
We assume a lot in our daily life. Assumptions are merely our imagination of what other person thinks or believe. If someone says something (that we do not like), then instead of clarifying (or asking a question) with that person we make assumptions. If someone doesn’t say anything then also we make assumptions (instead of asking questions).
The worst part is, after making assumptions, we start to believe that our assumption is the truth, and then we suffer behind that false truth. The assumption is the worst thing that you can do in any relationship. Instead of assumptions, start asking questions in a subtle way.
Fourth Agreement: Always Do Your Best
Always do your best. The benefit of doing your best is, you will not regret it later that ‘I could have done better than that’. When you look back you will be assured enough that you did the best possible thing that can be done at that time and circumstances.
However, your best will change depending upon the situation. If you are tired then your version of the best will be different from when you are not tired. In the morning when you are filled with energy, at that time your best is different than when at night you are left with only energy to do minimal. When you are fit and fine your best is different than when you are sick.
Since it will take time to change the habit formed over the years. Strong habits like being impeccable with words, taking things personally, and making assumptions; may take some time to change. But you can definitely start doing your best from now on.
Above all three agreements will only work, if we follow the fourth agreement. If you are doing your best then it doesn’t matter if you were impeccable with your words, took anything personally, or made any assumption. It is just that you did the best that you could possibly do at that time.
Remember, don’t have a longer commitment to apply this, just start focusing on NOW. Do your best NOW. Decide to be impeccable with your words TODAY. Decide to not take anything personally TODAY. Decide to never make any assumption TODAY. If you lose on some agreement don’t be harsh on yourself, again work tomorrow on those agreements. Slowly you will master all agreements and can transform your life. But first, you need to start.
So now you know ‘What are the four agreements?’. Hope you like the book summary ‘The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom’. Subscribe to this blog to get a notification of a summary of many other useful books in your inbox.